


Love's Loss Fool's Prize

by TheChichiSlaughterHouse



Category: Original Work
Genre: Bad Decisions, F/F, Family Issues, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, One-Sided Attraction, POV First Person, Yuri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2006-08-14
Updated: 2007-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-08 20:49:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11654466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheChichiSlaughterHouse/pseuds/TheChichiSlaughterHouse
Summary: Follow the story of Mel as she watches after her best friend Susanne, secretly in love with her. With all of Susanne's boyfriends, will there ever be a chance for Mel to say her feelings? HIATUS





	1. Admittal

**Author's Note:**

> Love’s loss, fool’s prize
> 
> By The Chichi Slaughter House
> 
> Warnings: Original characters, shoujo ai.
> 
> Disclaimer: All characters and situations in this story are fictional. Any relation to real events is coincidental.
> 
> Chapter rating: PG

It’s official.  
  
I want to kiss her.  
  
As I watch her lips move – forming words that I am meant to be listening to – a shudder races through me and I get a tingling in my spine as I imagine for the billionth time what it would be like to press our lips together, just for a second, wondering how warm her lips are. I can imagine my hands running through her beautifully thick blonde hair; the strands flowing over her shoulders and down her back as our tongues would tangle and her soft gentle hands would grab at my arms as if she desired more.  
  
But I can imagine a lot of things, and this shall sadly just stay a fantasy.  
  
I am here, at school, looking up into her blue eyes as she looks down at me, telling me how her newest boyfriend had only been using her for sex, then had dumped her. She’s speaking of how much she loved him and how betrayed she is feeling as she is sat on my desk, whispering what has happened in detail to me when only two things are going through my head.  
  
What a prick her ‘love’ had been since I had met him, and, of course, how much I want to kiss her lips and tell her that I’ll protect her from that scum.  
  
Oh, I know what you’re thinking. It’s so obvious from the expression on your face. You think I have a one-track mind. Well, guess what? You’re wrong! I’m also sort-of thinking about my art project too, but we both know that that’s boring and that you’d rather think about us kissing. I know I do.  
  
So, anyway, I do not have a one-track mind!  
  
It’s just that everything else seems so boring when she’s around, like, she lights up any room she walks into, excusing how corny and cheesy that sounds. It’s like everything’s in black and white and she’s there in blues, reds and blonde, and I can’t help but think about her. She’s my best friend, and I’ve always loved her to bits, no matter how poor her taste in boys is. Though I never realised just how much I loved her til a few months ago when we had a sleepover and I felt my heart race as we got changed and talked for so long that she fell asleep next to me. I didn’t sleep that night; I just watched the way her chest moved as she breathed softly, brushing her gorgeous hair from her face with my hand whenever it blocked my view.  
  
It was so obvious after that night how I truly felt, and I spent weeks trying to convince myself it wasn’t true.  
  
After all, in a town like ours, being gay is as offensive as walking around naked and screaming disgusting things at strangers. Plus, word gets around so fast in my school that everyone would know within an hour if I showed it, even the tiniest little bit.  
  
But anyway, it’s hard to  _not_  think about kissing someone when you can see straight down their shirt and feel their hair brushing your neck, their soft breath on your ear as they whisper…  
  
“Mel, are you even listening?”  
  
Oops, well I was kind-of paying attention…she’s still talking about him, so I guess it’s okay to insult him without insulting her taste…  
  
“God, he was such a wanker.”  
  
And that was all I really needed to say. As soon as she heard it, she looked so happy, nodding feverishly at me and continuing about how she’d never trust a man again. Funny how this is the third time this has happened, the third time she’s said that, and the third time I’ve thought cheekily that she should trust women instead. But I know that as she rants on and on about this guy that it’s going to happen again and again.  
  
And it’s a shame, really, that I’m not a guy.


	2. Goddess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love’s loss, fool’s prize
> 
> By The Chichi Slaughter House
> 
> Warnings: Shoujo ai, original characters, etc.
> 
> Disclaimer: All characters and situations in this story are fictional. Any relation to real events is coincidental.
> 
> Chapter rating: PG-13

No mere man could ever pleasure a goddess the way that I can.  
  
Men are clumsy ignorant fools. I doubt they could even pleasure themselves right.  
  
The irony that I know how to pleasure a woman much better than a man does amuses me. It makes me want to laugh that most of them have such egos as to think that they could even  _try_  to please a woman.  
  
The only thing that makes me laugh more is the fact that Susanne never learns. Men are scum, it’s that simple, she says so herself and yet…continues to flock to them as if she would die if she didn’t. She loses one and goes after another in a stupid predictable circle that has given her an image of a slut with the boys, so it’s no wonder they go after her and shag her and leave.  
  
Actually, it doesn’t make me laugh. It makes me mad.  
  
I’m sick and tired of hearing her complain about the latest guy that was after her for sex.   
  
They’re  _guys_! It’s all they want!!  
  
If she doesn’t know that by now, then someone damn well needs to tell her. I don’t feel any sympathy for her anymore; if she is going to act like a slut, then she probably deserves it!  
  
But as I look at her, I can’t think that.  
  
Maybe it’s just because of how I feel, but I can never look at her and think bad things about her. It’s much easier if I look away, or if she is not anywhere near me, and that annoys me too. I can, however, think this:  
  
‘Stupid sexy idiot!  _Learn_  from your damn mistakes!!’  
  
…I feel better now.  
  
I can’t help a dopey grin as I look at her. I think I forgot to mention that we’re in her room, didn’t I? Didn’t mention she’s getting changed and all she has on right now is her blue bra and a tartan miniskirt, hm?   
  
Well, we are and she is.  
  
She doesn’t realise that I’m watching her breasts move up and down as she breathes, thank god, or she’d probably cover them up or tell me to get out. I actually don’t know how she feels about homosexuals; it isn’t exactly the thing that crops up in our usual conversations of how much sex she had with the last one; the things he made her do and how violated she feels yet again.  
  
And those conversations are annoying me. I’m bored of pretending to be sympathetic.  
  
I wonder how she would react if I walked over and began kissing over her chest. Would she hit me and cast me away? Hell, it might be worth it; either she’d like it or hate it and me for doing it, then I wouldn’t have to hear her complain so damn much. I’m sorely tempted right now.   
  
I should probably kiss her on the mouth first…maybe she would react well to that better; hopefully shut up but not push me away. Eh, whatever, I don’t think I would risk losing her…I’m pathetic really.   
  
I sigh as I sit on her nice bed, looking around her overly feminine room; boy band posters covering the pale pink walls, cuddly toys littered over the floor and bed… Shaking my head, I scorn her room. However, she thinks I am shaking my head at what she is saying – which I’m not listening to again; there’s really no point, I know most of it by now – and moves to sit next to me, my gaze having to move from her breasts as it would be too obvious from here.  
  
To my great surprise, she grabs my hand, then pulls me into a hug, her almost bare breasts rubbing over my arm, making me go red. I’m not really one for touch most of the time, but this…oh I would not mind getting used to this… My arms find their way around her back, and I feel the catch on her bra and have to resist the urge to just undo it and pretend that it is an accident as I have no excuse.  
  
But as quickly as temptation came, it is gone, and she has moved away to pull on a t-shirt. Dammit. I sigh in exasperation at the sight and rest my head in my hands, elbows on my knees, determined to look as fed up as I possibly can.  
  
Because I am fed up.  
  
I’m fed up of hearing the same old crap!  
  
I’m fed up of watching her make the same mistakes!  
  
I’m fed up of hiding how I feel!  
  
I shouldn’t have to not be who I am around her; if she is my friend then she would understand. It hurts to hide behind a mask and just be someone or something else, even if it is the right thing to do.  
  
I just can’t contain my feelings for too much longer…it’s like they’re just building and building within me and there is nothing I can do to stop them. It’s getting harder and harder to keep them to myself, and I’m sure that a lot of people have noticed how edgy I am getting…it’s really only a matter of time…  
  
She notices my sigh and comes over, crouching in front of me and looking at my face, my gaze not even on her, looking at the floor between her legs.  
  
I can’t bear to look up.  
  
She’s too close and I’m barely able to stop myself from taking off her bra; the only reason I didn’t was because she moved away!  
  
I swallow.  
  
She begins asking me if I’m alright and reaches again for my hand, but I sit up and pull my hands away, looking at her calmly from a better distance, my hands behind my back as support. It’s harder to touch if your hands are doing something important, after all…  
  
It comes as a great shock when she crawls onto my lap; grinning down at me and making me feel tense. It’s obvious she has no idea what she’s doing and that makes me feel all the more nervous.  
  
She doesn’t know what she’s doing to me.  
  
I nearly tell her that this position is sexual. Nearly. The words build on my tongue and I’m about to say them but I bite them back. I don’t think she’d appreciate me telling her she looked like she was trying to seduce me. Knowing how sensitive she is, she’d probably take it as a cruel joke about what’s going on and get upset about it, and I don’t want to upset her.  
  
I don’t think I could stand to be the reason she was upset.  
  
I think that would tear me apart.  
  
In any case, she leans over my shoulder, looking down at my hands, seemingly completely unaware that her breasts are right in my face – which I quite like, but considering the circumstances, it worries me – or that my hand is under her skirt where it has been the whole time. If she sits back down…  
  
My face goes red when I can’t move my hand out of the way. It’s trapped between her thighs. I try to laugh nervously to change the atmosphere in here and give her a lopsided fake grin. I have to say something now or risk making her think that I put my hand there on purpose or something…  
  
“Sue, if I didn’t know any better I’d think you were trying to seduce me!” A joke. A really bad joke. I hope she doesn’t take it too badly and just gets off my lap…  
  
“And if I was?” My eyes widen at the serious tone in her voice and I look up, her moving back to look me in the eye for an agonising few seconds before she bursts into laughter, throwing her arms around my neck. “Oh my God Mel, I’m only kidding, don’t look so horrified!”  
  
Crap.  
  
I hate jokes.


	3. You had me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love’s loss, fool’s prize
> 
> By The Chichi Slaughter House
> 
> Warnings: Shoujo ai, original characters, het, etc.
> 
> Disclaimer: All characters and situations in this story are fictional. Any relation to real events is coincidental.
> 
> Chapter rating: PG-13

Looking dimly around my room, all I feel is boredom. The blue walls seem colder to me than they usually do; whether it is a trick of my mind due to my current situation or not, I’m unsure. You see…my room is rather plain. It is all blue and there is nothing particularly of interest inside; my bed is small, my wardrobe closed, my chest of drawers is open, but none of my clothes even mildly interest me.  
  
I’m in here, alone, with nothing to do or think about and it just…annoys me that my life lacks any sort of excitement at all.  
  
You may be wondering why I’m here, instead of somewhere else. With some _one_  else. Well, I’ll tell you.  
  
Me and Sue had a fight.  
  
I know what you’re thinking. ‘So, you finally told her, huh?’ Well, you’re wrong. I neither have the simplest clue of what to say to her nor the courage to say it even if I knew.  
  
We argued over her new ‘boyfriend’.  
  
Sounds like a stupid reason, doesn’t it? Well it isn’t. You don’t know why.  
  
He’s  _twenty-two_.  
  
Doesn’t sound very old, does it? But I never mentioned that Sue and I are only fifteen, did I?  
  
I don’t know how or why he is interested in Susanne, of all teenagers. Sure, she’s pretty attractive, and she has the look of some sort of virginal little girl, but I’m telling you, she isn’t. She’s done it all and then some, if you really need to know.  
  
Fucking pervert better not lay a finger on her.  
  
I told her that she shouldn’t go out with him because he was going to use her, but she’s convinced he loves her, and that he doesn’t want her only for sex. She’ll find out soon enough what he wants, and she’ll see that I’m right. For someone who has sworn off boys, she’s not doing a very good job of staying away from them.  
  
I shake my head to myself and turn on my CD player. It randomly chooses a song and begins playing and I laugh at this chorus.  
  
 _‘I got more wit_  
A better kiss  
Hotter touch  
A better fuck  
Than any boy you’ll ever meet  
Sweetie you had me’  
  
Damn straight.  
  
It’s like Panic! At The Disco know exactly how I feel. This is my favourite song by them, after all…  
  
Sighing, I lie back on my bed, pillowing the back of my head on my arms as I stare at the ceiling and let the music flow over and through me. Somehow I find it relaxing to have my mind take me away from reality, to just…exist without doing anything. It makes me calm…  
  
I hear a crash downstairs just as I began to feel like I had almost faded away; my parents, probably having another row. I can’t help but sigh and sit up, annoyed. I really wish they’d stop all these arguments, they’ve been going on for as long as I can remember… It’s gotten so bad recently that they never stop screaming at each other unless they’re having sex. But even then…  
  
I wish they’d just break up already. It’s over between them, even I know that.  
  
Groaning, I hear a glass shatter and hear my mum start screeching her head off. Okay, I think I need to take a walk.  
  
I switch off my CD player and grab the coat closest to me, pulling the thick black jacket over my vest top, uncaring that I have no money or keys in this one as it isn’t my usual choice, just wanting to get out, get away from this stress. As I leave my room and slam the door behind me, I think bitterly that I wouldn’t have to put up with this if Sue hadn’t argued with me.  
  
I wouldn’t be here to hear this.  
  
The door of the house slams behind me, but no one rushes to see who has left or why. No one noticed, like usual.  
  
No one cared.  
  
Wiping my face, I feel hot tears in contrast with the cold weather. I’m not sure when, or even why I cried. I should be used to this crap by now…  
  
I run. I don’t know why but I just can’t be here, I need to get away. I don’t even pay attention to what direction my feet are taking me, I just…go. People pass me on my way, but I don’t really see them, hearing nothing they say as I dash off, uncaring if what they were saying is important or not.  
  
I’m unsure how far, or how long I have run for, but I finally slow to a stop near a large wood, resting my back against a tree to hold myself up as I pant, wiping sweat from my forehead, slowly letting my body relax. It isn’t long before I’m completely relaxed, all the natural noises of the wood making their way to my ears…and some unnatural noises.  
  
Frowning, I move away from the tree, following the sounds of grunts and voices, my mind not connecting them to what they are as I enter a clearing and find…  
  
“S…Susanne…” I say to myself, my voice breathless and unheard by her as her and her new boyfriend bump against each other on the floor, her shirt open, her bra in full view as she pants, him pushing up her skirt and moving to put his hand between her legs.  
  
I don’t stay.  
  
I’ve seen enough.  
  
Angrily, I turn away, storming off loudly on purpose in hopes that they would get distracted and stop, but not staying to see if it makes any difference, biting my lip as I exit the forest, my mind playing tricks on me, making me imagine it being me and her on the floor, my hands in her hair…  
  
Choking back a sob, I begin to run again. I just feel so trapped within my own life right now.  
  
I can’t be at home, but there is nowhere else for me to go!  
  
Not watching where I’m going, I collide with one of the boys from school – Ben, I think his name is – and I fall to the floor, wincing as I try to get to my feet, holding my head.  
  
“Oh my God, Mel, I’m so sorry!” I can feel his arms around me in a circle, not touching, but there to hold me steady, ready to catch me if I fall again. “I think you need to sit down, my house is just over there…” He says, and as I look up into his green eyes, I nod quietly. He gently holds me around the shoulders as he helps me to walk towards his house, getting a key out of his pocket. That must mean that no one is at his home right now…  
  
I don’t know why I’m letting him lead me in, but as he opens the door, I just walk in, staying awkwardly in the hall as he turns, putting the door on the catch and gently putting his arm around my shoulders again. He’s never done anything bad to me, he’s never said anything bad about anyone, he’s a truly nice person…I feel safe and happy with him.  
  
He guides me to sit on his settee and looks nervous as he goes to his kitchen, saying he is going to get some ice to put on my head, and something to do with a bump that I’m not sure I have. It’s sweet that he cares though, and as he comes back in and puts a food bag full of ice to the back of my head, I can’t help but smile at him and lean forward, my lips touching his…


End file.
